When the Forces of the Universe Clash
by Maniacal Dragon
Summary: My first SI! Me (with a bizarre twist) and some of my friends and associates meet the IZ characters, and of course the ever-amazing NNY. Watch the wackiness unfold!


WELCOME!

To my bizarre little SI story! Inspired by SIs by KidKourage and Aliet Faslami (go read their fics, they're great!), this is a Jhonen-characters-SI of my own! JtHM, Invader Zim, and all related characters are copyright to the almighty Jhonen Vasquez. This story is pretty long (I got kinda carried away writing) and has a few bizarre twists in it... and some plot, too!! Please R/R!

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The setting is the high skool of the Bigger Town, population maybe 5,000. Today is the day where some middle skool classes come to see the Show Choir perform. The Show Choir is an elite singing group of high skool students who do a beautiful job with their performances. This is rare, but that doesn't matter.

A few lucky classes from each of the various middle skools in the Bigger Town (although the population is only around 5,000, the whole area of the Bigger Town is at least twice that of Teeny City, which has a population of around 30,000 or 40,000) get to come to the high skool to watch the performance. This is pretty much a tradition, since the Show Choir won the national championship for their singing performance of Cats'.

The skool buses, reading Bigger Town skool' pull up to the front of the high skool one by one. A familiar class piles out of one bus, followed by the snake-like shadow known as Ms. Bitters.

Ms. Bitters: Now listen up! This miserable class has been selected this year to watch the performance of the high skool show choir. Count yourselves lucky. This is the only performance you are likely to see for the rest of your miserable existence in skool.

The students file obediently into the auditorium, which is full of shouting kids and teachers attempting to direct them into their seats. Ms. Bitters' class gets almost two whole rows to themselves, up in the back.

Zim (cackling): My plan is almost complete soon the world will meet its doom at the hands of ZIM! 

Dib: You won't get away with it Zim that just looks like a pencil sharpener and a gel pen, anyway. 

Zim: Quiet, insolent earth-stink! You have no idea what my superior Irken mind has in store for this gel pen.

Meanwhile 

Since the performance for the middle skools happen to be during the art class, the art teacher has agreed to let them go in and watch it. 

Renee (to himself): All right, we're getting out of class. 

Morgan (over-happily): Now I don't have to come see it tonight! I can stay home and do my hair! (sees the teacher look over at her) And work on my project, it umm needs work! 

Jaime: I heard this performance was really good. 

Lynne: Yes, definitely better than sitting in class, though I'd rather be missing history or something. 

The class files out, and once in the auditorium they struggle to find seats among screaming middle skool kids. Lynne and her friends Jaime and Julie manage to find three seats together near the back. 

Julie: Why are there plastic shavings all over these seats? 

Jaime: Beats me. Looks like some dumb kid was trying to sharpen a pen sounds like my brother. 

The three of them brush off the seats and sit down. The lights dim, and the show begins. It's a version of Arabian Nights, with a humorous twist. It's very well done, and the three are soon engrossed in it. 

Meanwhile again, up a row behind them 

Zim: Foolish human writing utensils! Can they write on nothing but human plant-waste? 

The end of the gel pen has been sharpened into a deadly point, and Zim is attempting to drain the gel stuff from inside by writing on things. 

Zim: Now only to replace it with some deadly HEY! 

Dib (snatching the pen from Zim): Be quiet! This is the first time we've actually gotten to go to a _good_ show and I don't want to miss it! (Dib tosses the pen away over the seats, and a yelp of pain is heard down below) Oops! Sorry! 

Teacher standing by the wall (angrily): Stop talking! Noisy brats 

Julie: OW! Damn it, who threw (she removes a sharpened gel pen from her shoulder) Stupid kids someone up there is going to pay. 

Jaime (patting Julie's arm): Just ignore the little monsters 

Lynne (looking up and seeing two kids in a heated argument, albeit in whispers): I'm sure they didn't mean it for you, Julie 

Teacher by the wall: Quiet! 

Julie: (looks up as well, and as she does, a pencil sharpener comes flying down from the two arguing kids and barely misses striking her forehead) I'm going to have to talk to them afterwards (dark, evil look crossing her face)

After the performance, the three stand up to look for the perpetrators. 

Jaime: I wouldn't be surprised if it was my brother 

Lynne: No, it was those two, the one with the glasses and the green one. 

Julie: Green one?  
  
Lynne: Yeah. 

Julie climbs over the seats to the class filing out, and confronts the two, who are giving each other hateful looks periodically. 

Julie: Okay, which one of you threw that pen? 

Zim: It was the Dib-monkey! Now stand aside and let ZIM past! 

Dib: Zim you alien monster (he looks up Julie, who can be very frightening) I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to hit you he was going to use the pen to destroy mankind! 

Julie (raising an eyebrow): Whatever. Just, don't throw things anymore, okay? 

Lynne (coming up behind Julie): Alien monster? Wow, my alien was never actually _green_

Dib: Your alien? You've found an alien too? 

Lynne: Well, I did, once he's long gone now. 

Zim: Someone else was here before Zim? I must find him and destroy him (muttering now) This pitiful ball of filth belongs to the Irken Empire! 

Dib: What was that, Zim? 

Zim (defensively): I don't know what you're talking about. 

Lynne: Err well; I don't think he was actually an alien. It was just this weird kick I got on 

Zim (turning to Dib): Ah, you see, filthy stink-human? My being any more than a normal worm-baby is only in your head! Your head, _Dib_! 

Lynne: No, no, I think umm, _Dib_ is right about this one. I mean, you're _green_. And you have no ears or nose. Now I've known people without noses before but that's just not a common enough deformity. Anyway, are you here to destroy humankind? Because if you are, then I wish you the best of luck. They need it. 

Zim (looking delighted): Why, of course. (beaming a derisive smile at Dib, he follows the line out towards the door, where he is rudely pushed into the door jamb by somebody a lot taller than he is): Clumsy earth-monkey! How dare you push around the mighty ZIM? Prepare for some DOOM! (he keeps yelling, but his voice has faded away) 

Lynne (thoughtfully): Well, that was interesting! I'll see you around, _Dib._ (turning to her friends) We'd better get back to class. 

Julie: You don't think he's an actual alien, do you? 

Jaime: Hey, you never know 

The next day (Saturday)! Lynne and her foster sister, Naomi (in the same grade) are walking along Church Street in Bigger Town heading for the library because Naomi needed to do some research for a science paper on snow algae. Lynne was staring silently up at the trees, attempting to tune out Naomi, who was chattering some nonsense about somebody in their English class. 

Naomi: I cannot _believe _Morgan. Did you hear what she _said_?? 

Lynne: But don't forget we have to meet Julie tomorrow for the 

Dib (running past them towards the trees): BIGFOOT!! I SEE YOU!! 

Naomi: WHERE?? Bigfoot?? (she tears after Dib) 

Lynne (mumbles to herself): Right then I'm sure you'll remember.  


Dib: Right there! (he points ahead wildly, gripping a video camera in one hand) This footage will be worth millions! 

Naomi (charging through the trees after him): Oh why didn't I bring my camera???? 

Lynne (back on the sidewalk): Hey, wasn't that the alien slayer kid that threw the pen at Julie? It looked like him well, they better find Bigfoot before Mom comes to pick us up (she heads on down to the library)

Meanwhile, back in the trees 

Dib (panting): I think we lost him but you won't escape me for long, Sasquatch 

Naomi: (running up beside him, with a bit more breath, since she's in track at high skool) Why did I leave my camera at home _why_!?! 

Dib (sitting down in the leaves): I will get them all one of these days Bigfoot, Santa Claus, and that alien 

Naomi (finally forgetting about her camera): What? Santa Claus? 

Dib: Well, you know Santa Claus is an international mystery. If he doesn't exist, where did all the legends come from? In Europe, and Turkey, and Asia Minor 

Naomi: Umm right. Well, anyway, are you sure that was Bigfoot? 

Dib: Positive. Hey (he turns to her) Are you into the paranormal too? I'm pretty much a freak in my class. I've never met anyone else interested in this stuff. 

Naomi: Of course I am. It's fascinating stuff I've always wanted to see Bigfoot, and take LOTS of pictures! 

Dib (excitedly): Me too. Hey, do you subscribe to _Crop Circles _paranormal magazine? 

Naomi: No. I get _After Dark_. Oh wait I was supposed to be researching unicellular snow algae at the library! I'd better get going, my mom will probably be here in an hour or so 

Dib: Okay. I'll come with you I want to post these pictures on the internet. I hear the library has a T3 connection. 

Naomi: It does?? 

Meanwhile 

Lynne is at the library, sitting up in one of the cozy chairs by the big windows and leafing through a big picture book about dinosaurs. 

Lynne: Humm Stygimolochs are cool. 

Naomi (just walking in with Dib): Hi Lynne! We're back!  
Lynne: (looks up from the relatively boring book) Oh, hi. Did you find Bigfoot? 

Dib: No he escaped. But I got a few pictures, even though I'm sure they're too blurry to hey, aren't you the girl from high skool? The one with the alien? 

Lynne: I don't have an alien anymore, remember? 

Dib: Oh yes, that's right well, I'm going to go and see if they have a port for my serial cable on these computers. (he heads off to the computers by the desk) 

Naomi: I like that kid. He's cool. A geek like me! Now, where is the biology section (she heads off to the back of the library, and Lynne goes back to the dinosaur book) 

Dib: This isn't a T3 connection. My connection doesn't even go this slow! (Dib has a T1, and the library has a cable connection)

A few more minutes pass in silence, before Naomi returns with her book, sits down at a table, and starts writing notes furiously. The clock keeps ticking away. 

Lynne: (not noticing as her mom walks up to her) Hehehe Protoceratops hehehe AAAHH!! MOM! Don't sneak up me like that! 

Lynne's mom: I've been waiting outside in the car honking the horn for the past twenty minutes! You said you two would be done by two o' clock! 

Lynne: Oh, is it two already? (she looks at the clock, it says 2:30) Oh, well, umm 

Naomi looks up, and picking up her notes and leaving the book on the table, gets to her feet. 

Naomi: Hey Dib! I've gotta go I'll see you around okay? 

Dib: Okay! Hey, you'll have to come over some time so I can show you my labs. 

Naomi: Definitely! 

Lynne's mom: Let's _go_. 

Later that afternoon 

Naomi is in her room, feeding her fish in her 29-gallon fish tank and talking on the phone. 

Naomi: So it wasn't Bigfoot in your pictures? It was Mr. Whitney? 

Dib (on the other side of the phone): Yeah but, I think he might've been chasing Bigfoot too. He's your science teacher, you said he was kind of crazy. 

Naomi: All the science teachers at the high skool are crazy. 

Dib: Oh boy, I can't wait until they're _my_ teachers (sighs dramatically) Well anyway I'll really have to show you the experiment I'm working on in my dad's lab. Maybe you've heard of him? Professor Membrane? 

Naomi: Oh of course! _Probing the Membrane of Science_. I used to watch that show. 

Dib: I'm trying to get enough information for him to do an episode on Zim. You know, the alien. Did I tell you about him? 

Naomi: Yes, Lynne did too. The green kid. 

Dib: Okay. Well, anyway you've got to come and see this experiment of mine I think I found traces of the Lyc-V virus in one of the dogs that run loose around here. I'm testing it on a cockroach. So far nothing has happened 

Naomi: Oh, that sounds so neat. You're lucky to have labs like that! I wish I did. You know, about that alien we should go spy on him together sometime. 

Dib: I've done a lot of spying on him actually! I've even gotten pictures. But he always manages to thwart me and the times when he doesn't, nobody believes me, they just don't see. But now that I have a like-minded friend in you, perhaps together we can defeat this alien scourge 

And so and so on. Naomi stayed on the phone for a good couple hours, talking to Dib about Bigfoot, aliens, and the cockroach Lyc-V experiment. 

Sunday—At Zim's house! 

Dib: Man, where did you find this thing? It's great! 

He and Naomi are standing under a cloak an invisibility cloak. 

Naomi: They're selling them at Spencer's now. I bought this one at the mall in Teeny City. Can you believe that? I knew Harry Potter was popular, but not enough to facilitate the invention of an actual invisibility cloak! 

Dib: Yeah I never liked Harry Potter. But, let's hope this cloak works as well as it did in the movie

Meanwhile inside 

Computer: Intruder alert! 

Zim: Intruder? But it's 10 on a Sunday morning! I thought all humans were holed up in their pathetic church' services by now! 

Donning his wig and contact lenses, Zim opens the door and looks out. He doesn't see anything. 

Zim: Computer, run a diagnostic on the security net detection system 

Suddenly, one of the gnomes falls over. Two next to it turn around and grab at empty air, which seems to turn invisibly solid in their grip, before the invisibility cloak slides to the ground revealing Naomi and Dib. 

Zim: Ah ha! Pathetic earth-monkies! You try to spy on ZIM? I laugh at your pitiful attempt at spying! 

Dib: We'd better pin that to our clothes, next time and why'd you lead us into that gnome?? We could've remained undetected. 

Naomi (defensively): Oh, like that camera wouldn't have been terribly obvious if we ever did get in to take pictures! (she points to the camera in Dib's hands) Just how bright _is _that flash? 

Dib: Hey, we need to be able to see the picture! 

Zim, lost in his cackling laughter, doesn't notice his robot in a green puppy suit run out of the house and off down the street. 

Zim: Enjoy your proximity to the base of Zim! For it is as close as you will ever get! (still laughing evilly, Zim goes back into his house and slams the door) 

Dib and Naomi gaze after him for a moment, then head off down the street, presumably to think up a new plan.

Meanwhile, somewhere else in Bigger Town, Lynne and Julie are to the nearest convenience store. Naomi _was supposed to come with them, but as we know, she had other plans _

Lynne (eye twitching): I hate walking next to the road the cars, the smell, the _noise_

Julie: Don't worry, we're almost there just gotta cross the street. 

Lynne: What?? Why are we walking on this side of the street when we're going to that side?? Look, there are four lanes there! Too many cars!! I don't understand how people get around by walking in a city I couldn't stand it 

Julie: You couldn't even really call this a city 

Lynne: (who lives in Small Town) _I_ could oh my god! 

She has seen a small green puppy run from the sidewalk across the street, giggling like a maniac. Wait giggling? Cars brake and swerve, tires squealing, to avoid the puppy, and somehow it miraculously reaches the other side of the four-lane street. 

GIR: I'm gonna get a brainfreezy!! 

Lynne, seeing a break in the traffic over the puppy's path, grabs Julie and charges across the street. Julie screams the whole way. 

Julie: Geez, you could've gotten us _killed_! 

Lynne: It was probably safer than trying to cross under normal circumstances 

Julie: Oh yes well, maybe. 

They turn their attention to the green puppy, which is leaping enthusiastically for the door handle which is just out of its reach. 

Lynne: Well, I guess we can go get something to drink now (walking up to the door, she pushes it open, and the puppy runs in) 

GIR: Brainfreezies!! 

Lynne: That isn't a dog it doesn't even really look like a dog. See, it's running on two feet. 

Julie: Hmm you're right. But nobody else seems to notice. 

They look around. The clerks, dazed and bored looking, don't seem to be noticing anything, and the only other people in the store are a teenage jock hanging out by the drinks and some old lady buying cigarettes. 

Lynne: That's not surprising, when you look around you. That's a cute little puppy though. 

GIR, meanwhile, is filling up a large cup at the brainfreezy machine. What flavor? Chocolate bubblegum, of course. 

Julie: Ugh I didn't know anybody actually _drank_ chocolate bubblegum 

Lynne: I didn't even know they had a flavor called chocolate bubblegum. 

GIR: (he finishes with his cup, and turns around to wave at the two girls behind him) HI!!!! 

Lynne: Hello! Aww he's cute! Don't you think so, Julie? 

Julie: In a demented kind of way. 

GIR: Try some chocolate bubblegum!! (he latches himself unto Lynne's leg, spilling chocolate bubblegum and narrowly missing her awesome boots) 

Lynne: HEY watch it. (she picks up the puppy, GIR just giggles delightedly, and Lynne puts him down in front of the counter so he can buy his brainfreezy) Weird first a green kid and now a green puppy. And Naomi becoming best friends with a fifth grader! Could things get any stranger 

Lynne and Julie pick out brainfreezies; cherry for Julie and blue raspberry for Lynne. GIR has paid for its brainfreezy and hopped out happily, sucking as hard as it can on the straw. As Lynne and Julie are standing in line behind a tall thin, scary-looking guy with straggly hair, they start talking. 

Lynne: There goes that puppy cute little insane thing hehehe. 

Julie: Probably just some kid in a dog suit. 

Lynne: (grins) 

Store clerk: Cherry brainfreezy? Ugh. We really should stop selling that flavor, it's so disgusting. (rings up the sale) 

Man in the line before them: Stop selling it? Why would you do that, if people are buying it? And what right do you have to demean my taste in brainfreezies? (his eye begins to twitch) You are here to sell me this brainfreezy, not give me your opinion on it. 

Lynne and Julie exchange a look, one that almost, but not quite, says psycho'. 

Lynne (whispering): He's got a point, though 

Julie: So dark so wise so crazy (smiles dreamily) 

Clerk: Alright, man, look, whatever, you want to drink that slop, fine, I'll just gag at you behind your back. 

Julie, seeing a knife suddenly in the man's hand, gasps and her mouth drops open. 

Nny (hysterically): EVERYTIME I leave my house, I run into trash like YOU! Offering their stinking opinions on anything and everything, pushing others around to make themselves look better ah yes, this planet is a stinking hell-hole and now you'll thank me, because YOU'RE LEAVING IT RIGHT NOW!! 

With that little speech, Johnny leaps over the counter and thrusts his knife through the clerk's throat. Lynne and Julie stand there, in total shock. Nny then yanks the knife from the man's throat and turns to the two girls, expecting shocked horror and intending to kill them as well; he's just in that rotten of a mood right now. 

Lynne (in open-mouted amazement): WOW! Good job! I can't believe you had the guts to DO that! Wow!! Good for you!! He deserved that, badly!! (she abruptly starts laughing) 

Nny: (stares at her, his plans to kill her and her friend crumbling) Yes 

Julie (shyly): Hey you like cherry brainfreezies? So do I and I guess I get mine free now, huh? (she looks over at Lynne, who is still laughing and has never looked happier) 

Nny (a bit uncomfortable with the small talk): Yes (he hops back over the counter, covered in blood spatters) It's refreshing to meet such open-minded individuals. They're rare, especially in _your_ age group. (he smiles) 

Lynne: (stops laughing and looks solemn) I know. Humanity (shudders, then looks at Nny and smiles) I'm most pleased to meet you I've always wanted to see that happen. And not just to that guy! My name's Lynne this is Julie. What's your name? 

Nny: Johnny C. But you can call me Nny'. 

Lynne: Nny? That's original! Very spiffy. 

Nny: (nodding absently he picks up his cherry brainfreezy and sips it) I must be going home now, before any more of this human garbage comes to prey upon me. 

Lynne: Okay, see you around Nny. (Johnny leaves, sipping his brainfreezy) 

Julie: Nny (sighs dreamily) 

Lynne: (smiles) Yes, wasn't he wacky? He's my hero now! I hope he doesn't get caught for that 

Julie (realizing something): I hope _we_ don't (looks pointedly at some of the blood splatters that hit her coat) 

Lynne: Ah yes

The two of them wander out, drinking their brainfreezies. Lynne winces at the sudden noise of traffic as they step outside, but they turn off onto a side road to go to Julie's house. 

Julie: Oh my gosh! I think I forgot my uhh my straw wrapper! In fact I think 

Lynne: (understanding the importance of straw wrappers) Did you want to go back for it? 

Julie (thinking): No no I guess not 

Meanwhile again, at Dib's house 

Dib and Naomi walk in the front door. Gaz is sitting on the couch furiously playing her Game Slave. 

Dib: Hey Gaz! We're going down to the lab. 

Gaz: Be quiet. Can't you see I'm _busy here? _

Dib (whispering to Naomi): I think there's some soda in the fridge. Come on, I really have to show you this cockroach 

They go over to the refridgerator and take two sodas before heading down to Professor Membrane's lab. 

Naomi: Wow, Professor Membrane's lab I've always wanted to see it. 

Dib: (running over to the cockroach experiment) Here he is 

Naomi: That is a big cockroach what is wrong with his eyes?? 

Dib: They're turning dog 

Naomi: _Dog? _

Dib: Yes! The strain of Lyc-V that I found was in a dog. Now the interesting thing about Lyc-V is it incorporates genetic material from its secondary host population into its own genetics 

Dib goes on telling Naomi about his experiment; Naomi is utterly fascinated by the entire thing. 

Upstairs, Gaz is still playing her GameSlave when the doorbell rings. She growls to herself but doesn't get up to answer it. 

Dib: I think I hear the doorbell. Hang on! I'll be right back. 

He runs upstairs to open the door, cautiously of course so as not to let in anything he doesn't want to. 

Dib: Zim? 

Zim: Hello, puny earth-stink. 

Dib: What do you want? 

Zim: A fire extinguisher. 

Dib: An _extinguisher? What have you done now?? _

Zim (insulted): It wasn't _me. _

Dib: Okay, what are you really here for? 

Zim: Actually, I _am here for a fire extinguisher. But perhaps as a side I am here to find out what on earth that thing flitting around your house is. _

Dib: _What? _

Zim: Don't know? Is it some secret human government weapon? Are you plotting more of your pathetic attempts at exposing me? It will never work, _Dib! _

Dib: (staring at Zim for a moment) Wait here. I'll go and get your.. _fire extinguisher. _

Zim: Of course. 

Dib shuts the door and disappears back into the house, while Zim gazes up at the roof thoughtfully. The dark shape circling the house is a little too large for comfort, and Zim does not recognize it. 

Dib (returning): Here you go, Zim (pushing open the door Dib steps out quickly and hurls the contents of a large pitcher at Zim) Your fire extinguisher! 

Zim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (he takes off screaming and waving his arms wildly) 

Dib: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (diabolical laughter) Hey.. what's that? 

Having stepped outside to throw the water Dib notices a large dark shape circling his house up in the air. It begins to spiral down towards the ground, and Dib inches slowly back towards the door warily. As it comes closer he recognizes a. dragon? 

Dragon: Hi there, Dib. 

Dib: O.O 

It's not a very big dragon, but its mostly black in color. Most noticeable are the sky-colored wings, eyes, and crest. But its presence seems wavy, almost as if it weren't quite there. 

Dragon: Don't look so shocked! It's just me. And I'm not even really here. (as emphasis the dragon swipes a claw at Dib, who falls over backwards, but the claw passes right through him) 

Dib: Don't do that!!! 

Dragon: Sorry. But I was just making a point I'm only projecting here. (the dragon grins seeing Dib fumble around in his pockets for his camera) You can take my picture if you want. I'm sure I'd be flattered. 

Dib: (giving up the search for his camera) Okay, who are you? 

Dragon: Lynne. 

Dib: What? 

Lynne: Yes! It's me. Don't worry, my skills in projecting and psychic communication are not very good. But I can still do it, as you can see! 

Dib: But why don't you just look like yourself then? 

Lynne: Okay listen carefully, Dib. This is me. This is how I look, or at least how I have once looked. I prefer this form. That's why I use it during creative visualization and other such things now if you'll snap awake that part of your mind that is aware of things on the higher end of the vibrational spectrum, next time you see me in person look me over very carefully and then it might explain to you better _why _I project in this form. 

Dib: Okay (he gets that glassy-eyed look, as he starts putting two and two together and realizes the nature of much of the paranormal phenomenon that he obsesses over) 

Lynne: (grins) Tell Naomi that she'll need a ride home. By the way you're a lot more open-minded then that obnoxious alien friend of yours. 

Dib: He's not my (he stops, realizing the dragon has disappeared) Well that was strange. (he runs back into the house)

So Lynne zips off, cruising Bigger Town. (Just in case you're thinking I'm really really bizarre at this point, no I can't really project like that but the other thing about the dragon _is_ true.) And, having discovered that freaking out a certain green alien is loads of fun, heads off to said alien's house. It's relatively small (though miles bigger underneath) and situated between two other houses. The house draws necessities like television and electricity through large cables that run into the other two houses. Zim's house is also a beautiful shade of green, and the front yard is filled with lawn gnomes. 

Zim, wearing his disguise, is on the sidewalk walking home, muttering to himself about how pathetic and stupid he considers Dib. He freezes suddenly as a chill breeze whips by above him. This is Lynne, pulling her projecting stuff. Beating long wings, baring all her teeth and claws, she spins around to make another pass, this time in almost slow-motion, as Zim looks up. 

Zim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (he starts to run towards his house at full speed) 

Lynne follows after him, still making scary sounds. When Zim is in the safety of his house, he slams the door and appears at the window. Lynne drops her projecty-self down onto the sidewalk and laughs hysterically. Zim, of course, can't take that kind of insult. 

Zim: What's so funny, vile Thurk beast? 

(Thurk is a planet which is also under the delicate care of an Irken Invader. Thurk is home to large, indigenous flying animals with long tails as well as home to the sentient population of water-dwelling ghostlings'. They really don't look like dragons; but Zim can't think of anything closer, and he doesn't know what a dragon is.) 

Lynne: (after her laughter dies down) You umm what's a Thurk beast? 

Zim: (ignoring the question, his tone growing angry) You laugh at the masterful ZIM? You have no idea who you deal with! 

Lynne: That was fun and besides, from what I've seen of you, your confidence far exceeds your competence. (seeing the shocked and extremely angry look on the Irken's face) No no I'm sorry. I just tend to be terribly snappy towards people like you. Known too many humans of that caliber. 

Zim: You group me with those disgusting stink-worms? You have no idea what you say! _Nothing_ is more loathsome than a _human_! 

Lynne: Yes yes, I agree. Unfortunately I am stuck with the existence of living like a human at the moment I would say another 70 or 80 years. Then maybe 

Zim: (boggle-eyed, having no clue what she is talking about) You don't look human to _me_. 

Lynne: Well, not now. I'm not really here. I'm projecting. I choose to use the form which I've worn in the past because I remember being like this and prefer it to my human life and form. 

Zim: Projecting?  
  
Lynne: Yes! Psychically communicating and traveling. Around town. Neat, huh? 

Zim (interested now): And how does one accomplish this projection? 

Lynne: Well it's a bit complicated 

But she does her best to explain to him. Always spreading the joys of the metaphysical, that's Lynne at any rate, Zim is eager to try and learn how to do some of this stuff of course, it would probably be a great help to his plans for world domination. And it's a relief to him, to have found a non-human that's of an intelligence level to converse with and generally dislikes humans herself.

What will Zim do with his newest scheme? We're about to find out later that week.

It's a little while after school has ended and everyone at Lynne's house in Small Town is just relaxing. Naomi is upstairs on her laptop, Lynne is upstairs drawing, Lynne's mom is taking a nap, Lynne's dad is playing EverQuest (the horror!!) and Lynne's sister, Alyssa, is upstairs in her room, the base of her stereo pounding down through the living room ceiling. 

The doorbell rings. 

Lynne (from upstairs): Door! 

Lynne's dad: (panicked) Can you get it?? (he's trying to avoid being slaughtered by some mob in EQ) 

Lynne tromps down the stairs and opens the door, shoving Alaska out of the way with one knee. 

Lynne: Hey Dib! I didn't know you were coming over today. 

Dib: Hi there. (he looks closely at Lynne, as promised but he really doesn't see much) 

Lynne: (noticing him looking) Can you see auras, Dib? 

Dib: No 

Lynne: (with a friendly smile) Well, keep trying, I'm sure it will come to you. Come on in. (going over to the stairs) NAOMI! DIB'S HERE! 

Naomi: Okay! 

Lynne: (turning back to Dib as he stands in the kitchen to wait for Naomi) You don't look so good. Something up? 

Dib: Well I just keep having these weird dreams or visions or something and it's hard to sleep. It's like I keep seeing Zim's rotten alien face in mine at night, laughing at me. It's just a glimpse kind of reminds me of when I saw you projecting. But it was fuzzier, less clear. 

Lynne: (recalling her explanations to Zim) Ohh ah hmm. 

A slightly suspicious look crosses Dib's face, but he is distracted by Naomi coming down the stairs. 

Naomi: Hi Dib! 

Dib: Hey Naomi! 

Naomi: Want to come upstairs? I'm editing photos. Not paranormal ones but 

Dib: (nods, knowing Naomi's photography obsession) Sure. (he turns to Lynne) Do you mind if I tell her about 

Lynne: Sure, go ahead. 

Dib: Okay, thanks! (he and Naomi run upstairs to Naomi's room) 

Lynne: (to herself) I think I need to have a talk with that alien (she heads up to her room, and decides to play some music this time while projecting over to Zim's house)

At Zim's! 

GIR has rented his most favorite movie (at least for today), the Zillatrix. He's sitting on the couch, without his disguise since he hasn't been out lately. Watching his movie happily while munching on today's favorite snack, Moose Munchies, GIR is briefly disturbed by the slow appearance of a dragon-like spectre in the room. 

GIR: HI!!!! (he waves and goes back to his movie) 

Lynne: Hello. (she turns to look at the large TV screen; the movie playing is about some network of giant lizards trying to take over the earth) Where's Zim? 

GIR: Master's down in the lab!! He's makin' things! 

Lynne: Things I see (she drifts off to the lab, hindered by her limited projection skills and the fact that she has never been down there before) Dangit losing the scene wait got it now. Ah ha! 

Zim: (he appears on a vid screen in the room Lynne is making her way through) Oh, it's you, Thurk-beast. How did you get down here? My security system _sees you, but it can't ascertain your presence. (his tone grows annoyed) Would you mind, terribly, to not come down here in a form that I can't do anything about?!? _

Lynne: Maybe. If I thought you would've interrupted your precious making of _things then maybe I would've asked GIR to get your attention. _

Zim: No! Go away! More important things demand my attention. 

Lynne: Okay, fine I'll just figure out my way down there to where you are. I have to get to know this place better anyway, so it'll be easier to come _back. _

Zim: Wait, wait give me a moment. Is vidscreen communication sufficient for your arrogant Thurken brain-worms? 

Lynne: (ignoring the insult) Yes. 

Zim: Then _what do you __want? _

Lynne: I just wanted to tell you about this little unwritten rule actually, it is written. Anyway, this little rule states not to use your energy manipulation skills to cause harm to someone else. Get my drift? (she cocks an eye at the Irken on the vidscreen) 

Zim: (annoyed) And why should I obey this ridiculous human rule? 

Lynne: (sighs) It's good for you. Remember I explained to you that little thing called balance'? 

Zim: Yes 

Lynne: Well the laws of the universe point to the fact that in all cases balance is maintained. You put too much negativity out, it's going to come back and smack you in the face. Get it? 

Zim: You expect me to believe that? 

Lynne: Well, your loss if you don't (teasingly) Oh come on Zimmy, you know I just care _so much about possible karmic retributions of your misuse of your newly discovered powers. _

Zim: (mad now) Leave me alone, stinking Thurk-monster! You have wasted enough of my precious time. (the vidscreen flickers off) 

Lynne: What an idiot (keeping her implied promise, she refrains from exploring the rest of Zim's underground base and returns to the living room, where the Zilla monsters in the movie are frying national leaders with strange weapons that resemble cooking pots) 

GIR: Heeeheeheeheee! I love the funny lizards! 

Lynne: (cheered up somewhat by GIR's happy innocence) Funny lizards (she curls up on the couch next to GIR) Projecting to watch a movie.. maybe I should get up and come here for real. What do you think, GIR? 

GIR: YAY! 

Lynne: Okay. I want some fresh air anyway. (she fades out, back to body in her room at home)

Lynne proceeds to bug her parents to bring her into Bigger Town. Since she has only her driver's permit, she still has to rely on her parents for transportation. As it turns out, Lynne's mom needs to go to town for a meeting anyway, so Lynne gets a ride in. 

Lynne's mom: I'll drop you off here you can walk to your friend's from here, okay? 

Lynne: Okay. 

So her mom speeds off, and Lynne starts walking towards Zim's house. Along the way, she starts getting distracted, both in a negative way by the cars that keep driving past and in a positive way by the huge old oak trees that are along this street. She starts getting the idea that she doesn't really want to go to Zim's it's not like the alien is really fun to be around for a long period of time, and the movie's probably over by now anyway.  


Meanwhile, Zim has come out of his lair to secure himself a modem. Why? He has come to the conclusion that since his computer holds only Irken knowledge, he's going to install the entire internet into it so that he can reference human things at the touch of a button. He walks along to the Coast Mall, next to the supermarket in Bigger Town, and a pathetic excuse for a mall indeed. Not even the rural people in Small Town think much of _this mall. _

Lynne, having definitely decided she's not going to Zim's, decides to head over to see Elisha at work. Elisha is a grade above her and works at the little café in Mr. Paperback. Walking in, she sees Elisha in the back washing dishes and decides to wait and see if she'll go on break soon. 

Sitting alone at one of the tables and eating a cherry sundae, is a familiar figure. 

Lynne: Nny? 

Nny looks up, and recognizes the girl who went happily berserk at his killing of the store clerk. 

Nny: Hello. I'm sorry, I don't recall your name 

Lynne: It's Lynne. (she sits down) How have you been? 

Nny: (eating another spoonful of the sundae) Worse off, as usual. I decided that I like this place better than the convenience store. It's usually empty, and the people who work here aren't usually such low-lifes. I can actually sit somewhere, outside of my house, without being bothered by petty imbeciles. 

Lynne: Hehe.. hey I just wanted to say.. how is it you're still up and about, after killing that clerk..? 

Nny: It's kind of hard to explain. 

Lynne: Oh, alright. I'm not really that insane you know (heh..) I kind of flipped my lid back at the convenience store. I don't usually go that off my rocker but it was a relief to see. Quite fun. Like humiliating that alien. 

Nny: (raising an eyebrow) Alien? 

Lynne: Yes. I've had such a strange couple of weeks, you know I met an alien, and a green puppy.. but I think it's actually a robot. My foster sister is best friends with a fifth grader, and then me and Julie meet you and despite your killing of the rejects of the world, you seem like a decent person. 

Nny: (says nothing, keeps eating his ice cream sundae, then after a minute..) Oh, your friend Julie she put a straw wrapper in my pocket. I don't know if she wanted me to have it or something, but here. (he hands the wrapper to Lynne) 

Lynne: (glancing at it, seeing it has a message scrawled on it) Oh, this is nice she'll be happy I know she will. She was asking me about this straw wrapper actually. 

Nny: Well, I'm glad I could help. (he solemnly eats another spoonful of his cherry sundae) 

Lynne: You're making me hungry. I'm going to get a drink or something would you like one? 

Nny: Oh, no that's alright. 

Lynne: Okie. 

She goes up to the counter and orders a hot chocolate; waits a few seconds, and then they give it to her. She goes back and sits down with it. Johnny polishes off the last of his sundae and then just sits, resting his chin on his hands. 

Unbeknowst to the two of them, a small green person, complete with human disguise, walks past Mr. Paperback, recognizes Lynne, stops for a moment, but then keeps going. _He_ won't be caught asking a human for assistance in locating a modem.

Zim: Radio Shack these electronic implements look about right. Hey! Store slave! Give me a modem! 

Radio Shack Employee: (bored) What kind? 

Zim: The fastest you have. 

RSE: (heads over to a shelf and pulls down a box) DT Master 5000, DSL external modem. $150. 

Zim: Ugh (he takes the box from RSE and hands him a handful of bills, then runs out) 

RSE: Don't forget to sign up for 500 hours free on (he shrugs, Zim has already left)

Meanwhile, back at Mr. Paperback 

Nny: Well, it's been nice talking to you, Lynne, but I really must be going. 

Lynne: Okay. I'll see you around, Nny. (she waves to him and smiles as he gets up to leave, then goes back to sipping her hot chocolate) Oh yes! The straw wrapper! 

Forgetting about Elisha, gulping down the chocolate and dropping a couple bills on the counter, Lynne wanders out of the mall and down the street, grumbling at the cars, before turning onto a side street to head to Julie's house.

Meanwhile, Zim is carting the box containing the modem home, walking along the sidewalk. When he finally gets in sight of his house, he freezes—there is GIR, though thankfully in costume, playing with a tall thin man with scraggly hair. The man has something shiny in his hand that GIR keeps leaping eagerly for. There are a few slash marks in the puppy costume no guessing how these two met. 

Zim: YOU! Leave my ro... dog slave alone! 

Nny looks up, seeing a green kid carrying a modem. Inside too much on his computer, was an initial thought, but no this kid was much too _green_ for that. You didn't get green from staying inside all day. And he didn't have a nose or ears. 

Nny: Your dog slave (he looks down at the green puppy, who is laughing happily as he leaps for the switchblade glinting in Nny's hand, and Nny can't help but smile) Such happy innocence so he's yours, small green person? 

Zim: (annoyed) Yes! He's mine. Now if you will kindly get off of my sidewalk and leave my dog alone 

Nny: (returning Zim's annoyed glance with a long, thoughtfully frightening one, of course Zim doesn't notice the implication) I _was_ having a good day today I went out, nobody bothered me I found a happy creature 

Zim: (starting to get nervous) Okay okay. GIR! Get in the house! (reaching down to grab the green puppy, Zim runs into his house and slams the door. 

Johnny sighs and walks off down the street, alone. 

Meanwhile 

Lynne arrives at Julie's house! 

Julie: (opening the door) Hi! Where'd you come from? 

Lynne: Well, I was going to go watch a movie but I changed my mind. And I ran into Nny at the bookstore. He gave me something for you. 

Julie: (eyes widening) Really? 

Lynne: Yeah! (taking the straw wrapper out of her pocket) Here you go. 

The straw wrapper has a small, messy, but readable message scrawled across it. 

Message: I hope the straw wrapper returns to you safely. I thought you might want it back, since you deemed me special enough to hang onto it for you. ~ Yours, Nny 

Julie: (sighs happily holding the straw wrapper) Wow

Meanwhile again, back at Zim's house 

Zim immediately heads down to his lab to install the new modem. _He_ can't figure out how, but his computer does a pretty decent job using the phonelines from one of the neighboring houses to connect through the modem. His computer builds an emulator of a human computer so that the data can transfer. 

Zim: Now, computer, put the internet into your database. 

Computer: Processing. 

Zim: Update periodically. I'm going to explore 

He starts tapping on his control panel, searching through the net pretty randomly. He locates a few paranormal websites, and finds a popular chatroom on one of them. 

Zim: Ah ha! Let's see what the Dib-humans are on to if anything! (laughs derisively) 

The room wants a nickname; so Zim logs in as ZIM_Lordofhumans. The paranormalists are talking about ghost photographs, while a couple others are talking about aliens. One in particular, nickname EarthsProtector2000, is arguing with Agent_Mothman, discussing the existence of aliens. 

---

ZIM_Lordofhumans: earth is doomed!

EarthsProtector2000: Now, let's not be so pessimistic, I'm sure aliens will be friendly when they first contact us, we must just try to understand them since they will be different.

Agent_Mothman: You don't understand. There's one here on earth now!

ZIM_Lordofhumans: ha!

Agent_Mothman: Zim?

Agent_Mothman: Is that you?  
  
ZIM_Lordofhumans: it is i, your future slavemastre!

ZIM_Lordofhumans: slavemaster

Agent_Mothman: Not while I'm around, Zim!

Agent_Mothman: Since when do you have the internet, anyway?

ZIM_Lordofhumans: since today, earth-stink!

Agent_Mothman: Earthsprotector, this is the one! It's the alien who goes to my skool!

EarthsProtector2000: Really??

Alienlover_chick30: an alien? wow

BIGfootstalker: Why would an alien come in a chat room?

Agent_Mothman: To see what we're up to, of course! To make sure his evil plans aren't in jeopardy! Isn't that right, Zim?

ZIM_Lordofhumans: no

ZIM_Lordofhumans: dib i know that's you!

Agent_Mothman: Of course it's me, Zim! And I will expose you! These people believe me!

EarthsProtector2000: Yeah! Is he hostile, Mothman?

Agent_Mothman: Oh yes!

PM from Alienlover_chick30: really are you an alien?

---

Zim: (pausing in his chatting) Computer, verify identification and security on the connection. 

Computer: Secure. 

Zim: I'm not being watched by this internet? 

Computer: No. 

Zim: (smiles evilly) Now to instill the fear of doom

---

(in the PM)

ZIM_Lordofhumans: yes! this planet's doom approaches. fear the might of zim!

Alienlover_chick30: whoa! are you going to take over the earth?

ZIM_Lordofhumans: i believe i made that clear.

Alienlover_chick30: wow

Alienlover_chick30: may i help you?

ZIM_Lordofhumans: no

ZIM_Lordofhumans: i need no assistance from puny stink-worms

(main chat room)

Agent_Mothman: Here's my address mothman@swolleneyeball.net' E-mail me and we can talk more about Zim.

EarthsProtector2000: Okay.

Trinity3007: Hi all. Hi Dib.

Agent_Mothman: Hey Trin J

Trinity3007: How is the cockroach coming?

Agent_Mothman: He's good! But I've just been explaining Zim to these guys finally some people who believe me!

Trinity3007: I believe you. How could I not, he looks like an alien. All green and stuff.

ZIM_Lordofhumans: i am a perfectly normal human just like the rest of you stink-worms.

Trinity3007: Zim?

Trinity3007: Haha, how did Zim get in here?

Agent_Mothman: I don't know, he said he got the internet today.

ZIM_Lordofhumans: yes, yes i did.

Trinity3007: Do you have a webpage yet Zim?

ZIM_Lordofhumans: yes, of course, don't all human worms?

Trinity3007: What's the URL?

ZIM_Lordofhumans: the

ZIM_Lordofhumans: it doesn't have one

Agent_Mothman: rofl

Trinity3007: lol

PM from Alienlover_chick30: can i have your e-mail?

ZIM_Lordofhumans: e-mail?

Alienlover_chick30: oh! you wouldn't know what e-mail is!

ZIM_Lordofhumans: yes i do

Alienlover_chick30: go to www.hotmail.com and you can have an e-mail. then I can send messages to you

ZIM_Lordofhumans: do all of you humans use this e-mail?

Alienlover_chick30: ya

ZIM_Lordofhumans: yes, yes i see. now my e-mail is invader_zim@hotmail.com.

Alienlover_chick30: cool mine is alienchick30@hotmail.com

ZIM_Lordofhumans: i don't care.

Alienlover_chick30: well, now you have an e-mail! and now we can mail you

ZIM_Lordofhumans: yes.

(meanwhile, back in the main chat room)

Ally08: I'm sure aliens exist but isn't it kinda farfetched for me to believe there's one in your skool?

Agent_Mothman: I swear it, it's true!

Trinity3007: Yeah, it is, I've seen him. He's green and he doesn't have a nose.

Agent_Mothman: Or ears!

Ally08: Hmm do you have a picture?

Agent_Mothman: Not really I've been trying to get pictures but he always manages to elude me. I have a fuzzy one I took of him through his window. Can I have your e-mail address?

Ally08: Ally08@aol.com

Agent_Mothman: Okay.

ManicDragon: Hi Naomi. Hi Dib.

Agent_Mothman: Who're you?

ManicDragon: It's me Lynne. Naomi told me you guys were in her chat room. She said Zim was here.

Agent_Mothman: Oh hi Lynne!

Agent_Mothman: Yeah but I think he's lost in PM land with that alien lover person.

ManicDragon: Hehe

Ally08: Wow are his eyes really red like that?

Agent_Mothman: Yes, when he doesn't wear his contact lenses.

ManicDragon: Did you get inside his base Dib?

Agent_Mothman: Yes.

Agent_Mothman: This picture is from outside though. But I have been in his house before.

ManicDragon: Me too. It's hard to get through.

Agent_Mothman: How did you get in?  
ManicDragon: Projecting remember?

ZIM_Lordofhumans: dib where did you get pictures of me??

Agent_Mothman: I'm smarter than I look, Zim!

Trinity3007: lol

ManicDragon: :D Zim, can I describe your base's defenses to everybody?

ZIM_Lordofhumans: NOO

ManicDragon: Hehe, okay.

Agent_Mothman: Could you tell me??

ManicDragon: Why? You just want him on an autopsy table.

Agent_Mothman: He's trying to destroy mankind!!

ManicDragon: I consider that a good thing.

Ally08: Ouch.

ZIM_Lordofhumans: of course it is! pathetic filth-worms!

EarthsProtector2000: Really if Zim is trying to destroy mankind he SHOULD be on an autopsy table.

Agent_Mothman: Exactly!

ManicDragon: You guys are sick. Just because he's not human he has to be vivisected? What is up with that?

Ally08: I agree. Just because he's different

Agent_Mothman: But, he'll destroy us all!

ManicDragon: Somehow I doubt that.

ZIM_Lordofhumans: i will. stupid humans!

Eventually, Zim grows tired of the chat room and his slow typing. Since he's using an Irken control panel and not a keyboard, it's a bit difficult to learn the sequence of the emulator his computer created. 

Zim: Computer, disconnect. But make sure you keep the internet in your files. 

Computer: Still processing internet data. 

GIR: Master!! The taquitos!! 

Zim: No, GIR! (as GIR runs into the room) 

GIR: Ooooo, whassat? 

Zim: The _internet, GIR. _

GIR: YAY! 

Zim: A human information database. I will now have human information at my very fingertips! (he raises a fist into the air as emphasis) 

GIR: YAY! 

GIR reaches into its head, pulls out a squeaky moose, and begins to run in circles around Zim, squeaking the moose vigorously. 

Computer: New data stream has arrived on your hotmail server. 

Zim: What? 

GIR: Somebody sent you a HOTMAIL! 

Zim: Oh computer, display. 

The computer brings up the message.

From: Alien Gal' [alienlover30@hotmail.com]  
To: invader_zim@hotmail.com  
Subject: hi! 

hi! i was so happy to meet a REAL alien today! can we be pen pals? i would love to hear more about you. oh! i'm 14 btw, and have blue eyes and brown hair! i love aliens! 

love,  
alien girl

Zim: Computer! Get rid of this filth! 

Computer: Complying. (the message disappears from the screen) 

Zim: Enough of this chatting' and e-mail'. It appears to be nothing more than a meeting ground for these disgusting stink people. GIR! 

GIR: (red mode) Yes sir! 

Zim: We need to finish installing this internet into the database. Monitor it, and tell me when it's done. I have a phone call to make. 

GIR: (blue mode) Okie dokee! (he sits down at the computer, squeaks his moose, and laughs happily) 

Zim: (walking over in his high-stepping way to the lift) Computer, take me to the house! 

Meanwhile, Lynne has said goodbye to Julie and gone home when her mom came to pick her up after her meeting. Julie promises to take pristine care of the straw wrapper. 

Lynne is at home now, in her room reading a book called The Investigator's Guide to Magical Beings'. 

Lynne's Mom: (up the stairs) LYNNE! PHONE! 

Lynne: Oh hell. (she puts the book down and runs to get the portable phone) 

Lynne's Mom: I don't know who it is sounds male. 

Lynne: O kay. (puts the phone up to her ear suspiciously) Who is this? 

Zim: It's me, Thurk beast. 

Lynne: Oh, Zim. How the hell did you get my phone number? 

Zim: I have my ways. 

Lynne: I bet you do. What do you want? 

Zim: I was wondering if you know of a way to do _more than just project your mind out of your body. Is it possible to do things away from it? _

Lynne: Yes. But is it such a good idea if I try to teach you that? 

Zim: Of course it's a good idea!! Why wouldn't it be? 

Lynne: Well, considering how you've been _abusing your projection ability _

Zim: I have put it to very good use!! Do not question me! 

Lynne: Good use is bothering Dib? What do you want to do now? Hit him with a water balloon in his sleep? 

Zim: (intrigued) Yes 

Lynne: Okay. But you aren't going to get my help. 

Zim: (starts to protest, then thinks better of it) I don't need the help of any pathetic Thurken stink! 

Lynne: Sure you don't. Anyway, I am not on your side, so don't call me expecting me to help you torture your rival. I'm not on anybody's side. The only reason I stick up for you is because of humanity's blind prejudice against anything new and different. Because they _would cut you up without a thought, Zim, without a thought to the fact that you can think and feel as well as they can, despite your massive shields of ego. Simply because they don't understand you as completely as they think they understand themselves, you wouldn't __be a person to them. _

Zim: (long silence) Yes. Would you explain to me how I could manage a water balloon over a distance? 

A click and a dial tone answers. 

Lynne: Oooh that arrogant little dipsqueak (notices her parents giving her odd looks) Umm he wanted to ah wanted me to help him with oh nevermind. (she goes back up to her room)

Meanwhile, down in Zim's lab 

GIR: Heeheehee! Lookit all the pretty pictures! 

GIR is playing with the control panel on the computer, randomly bringing up web pages, chat forums, etc many of them on moose, piggies, tacos, or other such obsessions of GIR's. 

GIR: Save all the pictures! 

Computer: Complying. 

Zim: (from above, coming back down) GIR! What are you doing? 

GIR: AH FOUND PICTURES!! (squeals delightedly) 

Zim: (stepping off the lift) I told you to just _watch it GIR. Not go looking for pictures! _

GIR: But (tears start to drip out of his cyan optics, then he jumps down from the computer) My moose wants to play with you, Masteeeeeeeeeeeeeer!! (he leaps up and begins to fly the moose around ZIM) 

Zim: GIR! Stop! 

GIR: WHEEEEHEE HEEE HEEEEE!!! (leaping on the lift, GIR shoots up into the house) 

Zim: (sighs) Computer progress report. 

Computer: Approximately half of internet stored from time started. 

Zim: And allowing for updates? 

Computer: Assigned task will never be finished. 

Zim: Grrr we'll have have to use what we can. Store relevant information only. Get rid of all of this pig and moose nonsense of GIR's. 

Computer: Complying. 

Zim: And get rid of WHAT IS _THAT!?! _

Computer: Human reproductive photo/video documentaries account for 22.6% of the internet. 

Zim: GET RID OF IT!! 

Computer: Complying. 

Zim: (after having calmed down some) Filthy _beasts (thinking of something) Computer, what percentage of the internet is paranormalist activity? _

Computer: Number of webpages of paranormalist activity—specifically interest in aliens—number second only to human reproductive documentaries. 

Zim: (eyes bugging out) Those filthy stink-beasts are on to me!! (he runs from the room in a panic) GIR!! We're in danger!! 

GIR: YAY! 

Later, that Friday at school 

It's lunch at HCTC. Everyone except the culinary class has gone back to their classes, except for Lynne. The culinary class serves lunch, so their break is longer. Lynne just takes their break because her friends are in that class. 

Lynne: And I swear he just irks the heck out of me sometimes, but not as badly as humans do with their little let's-destroy-what-we-can't-understand-or-control crusade. I bet his race is as bad as humans. 

Jaime: That's nice of you though, to stick up for the little guy. I mean, he _is all alone he's probably just bitter about it. I've got to meet him, actually this time Trying to keep Julie from going homicidal on him doesn't really count. (she and Julie grin at each other) _

Lynne: (grins too) Wouldn't that technically be xenocidal' though? 

Jaime: True. 

Julie: What's the penalty for xenocide in this country? 

Jaime: I wonder if there is one?  
  
Lynne: I'll have to look it up when I get back to class. 

Later that day back at ellsworth high school waiting for the bell to ring. Lynne is giving Jaime directions to Zim's house. 

Lynne: Okay you head onto Conformity Drive, then take a right down Oak Lane. The one with all the really awesome trees. You can't miss his house it's a really neat sea-greenish kinda color with a purple roof and lawn gnomes in the yard. But be careful, because I think he has high-tech alien security devices and stuff like that. He might not take too kindly to a (air quotes) human stink-beast' entering his domicile. 

Jaime: Nifty. I'll be careful I just want to meet him. 

Lynne: I'd come with you but I have stuff to do. (actually really, she just doesn't want to be around Zim) Tell him I sent you, and that I'll melt his tiny brain with my awesome powers if he tries anything. 

Jaime: (grinning) Okay. 

The bell finally rang, and Lynne ran out the door to the country music-infested, screaming demon-infested, Small Town skool bus. Yuck. She needs a car.

Jaime, in her NEW blue Mercury Sable, drove away from skool and went to look for Zim's house. She starts down Conformity drive, wincing at the little trimmed lawns the ugly tacky houses that look all the _same at least there are some trees as consolation. Oak Lane is better. The beautiful old trees block the view of most houses. Finally, she spots Zim's house. Parking in front of it, she gets out and goes to ring the doorbell._

GIR: (opening the door, dressed in the puppy suit) HI!!! 

Jaime: (stares) What kind of demented little awwww. (GIR has run up and is hugging her leg) Aren't you a cute lil puppy! 

GIR: I want noodles! 

Jaime: Noodles? I don't have any is Zim home? 

GIR: YES!! (he runs back into the house) We can make brownies!! 

Jaime: Brownies? Yum. (she follows after GIR, looking around the house) This is interesting. (looks confuzzled) Why is the toilet in the kitchen? 

GIR: Master's down there! 

Jaime: What? (she peers suspiciously down the toilet but it looks normal) 

GIR: BROWNIES!! 

GIR drags a mixing bowl from the cupboard, and pulling random things out after it, he dumps them into the bowl and begins to stir it vigorously. Presently he finds a box of baking chocolate, and a bag of sugar, and dumps both of them unceremoniously into the bowl. He continues stirring. 

Jaime: Ah I don't think you make brownies like that (she knows, she is in cu-lin-ar-y class) 

GIR: BROWNIES!! 

Jaime: Well, okay, but.. 

GIR: BROWNIES!!! 

Jaime: (smacks forehead) Here then, let me help where do you keep the baking pans? 

GIR: In there! (he points to yet another cupboard, which Jaime opens and pulls out a pan, GIR meanwhile is stirring so fast and hard he is splashing the batter around on the walls, floor, and everything else) 

Jaime: Hey! Watch it.. okay little guy I think you've stirred it enough. (taking the bowl from GIR she pours it into the pan) 

GIR: YAY! Lotsa sugaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!! 

Jaime: Yeah.. (looks at the empty sugar bag on the floor) We can give it to Zim. 

GIR: YAY! 

Together they put it into the oven and set it to bake. GIR, however, before closing the oven, insists on putting marbles into it. 

Jaime: That's going to be yummy. 

GIR: Marble brownies!! YAY! (he starts playing with the remaining marbles) 

Zim: (from below) GIR! What are you doing up there? (he appears from the lift in the toilet and gasps) 

Jaime: Zim? 

Zim: (panicking, since he's not wearing his disguise) COMPUTER! INTRUDER ALERT! 

Various claws and hooks snap down from the ceiling and converge on Jaime. She tries to back away from them but there are too many, and they end up catching her. 

Zim: Your pitiful attempt at infiltrating the base of ZIM has come to an end! You have seen me without my disguise. Glorify in this _minor_ success before you are annihilated, human stink! 

Jaime: Annihilated? But Lynne sent me (hopeful voice) 

Zim: (fearful expression, as his antennae drop briefly) The Thurk monster? Ah um I have no way of verifying that!! 

Jaime: She said she'd melt your brain if you did anything to me.. 

Zim: She just won't find out then!! (tosses back his head and begins to cackle evilly) 

GIR: Master! The nice lady made brownies with meeeeeeeeeeee!! 

Zim: (ignoring everything but his own glee) HAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA!!!!!!! 

A draconic shape fades into view in the room, blinks sky-blue eyes at Jaime all caught up in the cables, and turns to Zim. He is still laughing maniacally, but as the dragon apparition seems to grow larger, the eyes glowing with an intense light, he finally notices and abruptly stops laughing.

Zim: Thurk-beast! Ahh ah ha.. 

Lynne: (taps her non-corporeal claws against the floor) Zim what are you doing? 

Zim: Defending my base from a _human_! Surely you can't argue with that..? 

Lynne: Ordinarily not, but this human happens to be my friend and you HAPPENED TO KNOW THAT. 

Zim: (looks stunned, antennae back in fear, but stands rigid as military training and pride demands) 

Lynne: (looking slightly more calm, glancing over at GIR, who is tugging the brownies out of the oven) 

GIR: Brownies! Marbley brownies!! 

Lynne: Okay (turns back to Zim) Now be a nice little alien and apologize, then you can all have some of the brownies together. 

Zim: (still stunned, but mad now) Apologize to this filthy human?? 

Jaime: Hey! 

Lynne: Yes. 

Zim: (stares at the dragon defiantly, and returning the glare, she fades out of sight) Ha!! ZIM has prevailed once more! (he sighs and turns around) Computer, release the intruder. 

Jaime: (cables drop her) Whew really Zim I'm sorry, I didn't mean to barge in like that! 

Zim: (grumbles and snatches the pan from GIR) Have some brownies. Then get out of here. 

Jaime: (taken aback) Okay 

GIR: BROWNIES! (taking the pan back from Zim he runs over and puts it on the table) Master, have brownies with us!! 

Zim: No! I have work to do! 

GIR: Aww pleeeeeeeeeeaase?? (he looks up at Zim with sorrowful eyes, then pounces on him and rubs his metal cheek against Zim's) I loves you, Master!!! 

Zim: Get off of me! (struggles with GIR for a moment) Alright!! I'll have brownies with you. (GIR leaps off, and Zim stalks over to the table) 

GIR: (running past Zim with a butter knife) BROWNIES! (he begins to cut the brownies in the pan into lop-sided, uneven squares) 

Jaime: (reaching over and taking one) They look delicious. (she nibbles at it, and her eyes almost pop out of her head) S..w (she puts it down quickly) 

GIR: SUGAR!!!!!! (he begins to shovel brownies into his mouth) 

Zim: (watches in disgust as GIR spits out marbles and keeps eating brownies) How can he eat that human filth 

Both of them contemplate GIR's insanity in silence. Then 

Jaime: I can't believe you're okay with letting a human see you without your disguise on. 

Zim: The Thurk-beast sent you. _She_ wouldn't send anyone bad. If she did I would do stuff to them until they make little screamy noises. 

Jaime: You mean you trust somebody who hates your guts? 

Zim: I hate the Thurken stink too. So I'd say we're pretty much even. (superior expression) 

Jaime: Yeah (Zim is a lot meaner than she expected) That's because she hates humans, that she puts up with you. Don't worry, none of us would expose you; we hate most humans too.

Zim: You _are_ human, foul earth-stink. 

Jaime: I know. (she nibbles the brownie again, for something to do) Argh.. blood sugar too high. 

Zim: (staring at GIR who is happily munching brownies) How does he eat this filth he's a robot, robots don't eat! 

Jaime: Do aliens? 

Zim: I don't know well, I eat, but not this disgusting human food. 

Jaime: This isn't what real human food is like. This is GIR food. 

Zim: It's the same filth! Filthy, disgusting filth! 

Jaime: No, it's better than this. It really can be 

Zim: Never! The waste you humans feed on is comparable to the gaseous sludge pits of Hatire IV! 

Jaime starts laughing. Zim looks a bit confused, but still just as righteous. 

Meanwhile 

At Dib's house. It's getting late, but Dib really wanted Naomi to see how the cockroach was doing. It sits hunched in its cage, the size of a small dog now, its canid eyes glaring at the two humans that peer at it through the wire and glass. 

Naomi: Awww he's so cute! 

Dib: This proves the effects of the Lyc-V virus! My experiment was a success! There's only one more thing that we have to try the effect of the catalyst. 

Naomi: Catalyst? 

Dib: The full moon, of course! 

Naomi: Oh yes but (she whips out her laptop and furiously types for a moment) That's tonight. 

Dib: Tonight?? (he hops back a couple of steps to look at the screen) Oh my gosh, it is 

Naomi: Let's take him outside in the moonlight and see what happens! 

Dib: Erm I don't know if that's such a good idea (he trails off as Naomi lifts the cage and starts to stagger under it towards the stairs) Oh here, let me help you with that. (he runs over to take one end of the cage, the cockroach starts chittering and scampering as best it can in the small space) 

Meanwhile again, back at Zim's house an hour or so later 

Zim: Take that, human stink! (ducks as he hurls a grapefruit at Jaime) 

Jaime: Ha! You missed, Irken slime! Face the mighty wrath of Jaime and her NEW Mercury Sable!!!! 

Zim: GIR! Defensive mode! 

GIR: Take MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! (he sails through the air over Zim's head towards Jaime) 

Jaime: (ducking GIR) Pitiful! You can do better than that, c'mon! 

GIR: PILLOWS!!!! (his head opens and pillows fly out) 

Needless to say, a massive pillow fight ensues. Nobody seems to know or care how the conflict started, but it ends when Zim discovers he's losing, and yells for his computer to get Jaime. So the computer complies. 

Jaime: Hey, Zim that's not fair. (struggling against the cables holding her) 

Zim: HA! Fear the might of the amazing ZIM! I have prevailed! 

GIR: YAY! 

Jaime: But Zim losing in a pillow fight is _normal_. All humans do it. 

Zim: Do they? How fascinating. But you forget, earth-slime, I have no need to pretend to be human here! (continues his victory rant) Another win for the Irken elite!! Pathetic humans!! 

Jaime: (mumbles) Another win for stolen technology. 

Zim: What? (stops and stares at her) 

Jaime: Oh come on Zimmy I know you didn't have a thing to do with the brains behind all this awesome technology. 

Zim: (defensively) So? It is _my_ computer!! 

Jaime: Yeah well, maybe I should go now it's past dinnertime, and GIR's brownies were not edible. Could you let me down? 

Zim: (sighs) Computer, release the human filth. 

Jaime: (as computer drops her) Thanks. I'll see you later, Zim, we can plot the doom of the human race some more. (she heads out) 

Zim: (waves) Goodbye, filthy human. 

Meanwhile at Lynne's house! 

Lynne is in her room drawing pictures on the wall, including one of a familiar-looking dragon flaming an equally-familiar looking alien. Around that are other sketches.. some of Julie, and Jaime, and Nny, and Timmy Hamilton Timmy Hamilton, by the way, is Lynne's beloved kitty, who is at the moment sleeping on her _very_ _own_ bed in Lynne's room. A full-sized twin bed is dedicated to be Timmy's, although Timmy kindly allows Lynne to keep some stuff on it. 

Lynne's Mom: LYNNE! PHONE! 

Lynne: Ehhh.. oh dang it.. (as she accidently drops her pencil between the bed and the wall, then grabs the portable phone from the floor) Hello? 

Jaime: Hi Lynne! 

Lynne: Hey! How was your visit with Zim? Did I save your life? 

Jaime: Well, yes, actually little monster tried to kill me first off, then after you showed up he sat down and stared at brownies with me while GIR ate them. He was really annoyed with my presence at first but as soon as I got him talking about the stupidity of the human race he wouldn't stop! We talked about various ways we could crumble the human society internally, smuck it up externally, doom it, stuff like that GIR kept bringing food over, so eventually we got in a mild food fight over oh man I can't remember now, hehe anyway, it turned into a pillow fight when GIR turned on the pillows in his head Zim would've lost if he hadn't gotten his computer to help him. 

Lynne: Wow, sounds like you had a good time heh, I never get along with him. 

Jaime: Well, you just have to ignore the insults.. they're not really personal. 

Lynne: I do ignore them but it's his arrogance that gets on my nerves. 

Jaime: Yeah, that's true but underneath that I think he's got a good side. 

Lynne: Hmm it must've gotten jarred out of place when he crash-landed his little ship here. 

Jaime: He didn't crash-land he's here on a mission. 

Lynne: To conquer Earth? 

Jaime: Yeah, pretty much. 

Lynne: Thought so. He rants about it enough. 

Jaime: Hehe. Well, I better go my mom's yelling for the phone 

Lynne: Okay! I'll see you later then. 

Jaime: Okay, bye! 

Meanwhile, at Zim's 

Zim has gone down into his base and sat down at the computer terminal to check on the progress of his internet update. 

Zim: Computer, give me a status report on the internet. 

Computer: Installed and stored for ready access. 

Zim: Did you get rid of the moose and pigs and human reproduc..gah.. records? 

Computer: Yes. New data stream on your hotmail server. 

Zim: Again??? Okay display message. 

Computer: Three messages in queue. 

Zim: Display in order of arrival. 

Computer: Complying. 

From: Alien Gal' [alienlover30@hotmail.com]  
To: invader_zim@hotmail.com  
Subject: e-mail me

hi you didn't mail me earlier. i hope you are going to. by the way, i didn't tell you that agent_mothman sent me your picture just now. i think you are hot. please right me back soon!

love,  
alien girl 

Zim: (growls to himself) Computer, reply to the insolent beast-girl, and tell her to leave the mighty ZIM to his plans! 

Computer: Complying. Displaying next message.

From: jaime phreak' [apathetic_bassist@6gig.com]  
To: invader_zim@hotmail.com  
Subject: Hi 

Hey zim! I just e-mailed to let you know my e-mail address. I'm surprised you got one. I wouldn't expect an alien to want to have one. but I guess it's the normal' thing to do, huh? :D

Love,  
*~jaime~* 

Zim: Computer, write to tell the Jaime-beast that I expect her over here tomorrow afternoon to assist me in my construction of the BLENDER elite. 

Comptuer: Complying. Displaying next message.

From: Lynne' [kaijugirl@acadia.net]  
To: invader_zim@hotmail.com  
Subject: hiya 

Hi Zimmy! How's it going? Wow, never thought I'd be e-mailing an alien again.. I heard you were nice to Jaime. That's good, for you and guess what? I am still not going to teach you how to accompolish physical things out-of-body. But if you want, me and Julie could try to teach you tarot card reading

Lynne 

Zim: Computer, reply to the Thurken stink that 

Computer: Why can't you reply to your _own_ messages? 

Zim: (growls) Computer, I _said_

Computer: Complying. 

Zim: And from now on, handle all of my.. e-mail' by yourself. 

GIR (from upstairs): HEEEHEE HEEE HEEEEE!!!! 

Zim: Maybe I'd better see what he's up to (he high-steps over to the lift) 

Meanwhile Lynne is in her room 

Lynne: Heehee leviathan heehee silly angel bunnies 

Howls, shouts, and a strange rasping noise is heard outside, and Lynne drops the book she was reading before running over to her tiny window. 

Lynne: (gasps) Timmy, there's a giant cockro no it's a dog! ACK! It's CHANGING! (she speeds out the door) 

Timmy: (stares after her) 

Meanwhile, chasing after the dog/cockroach thingey 

Dib: (panting) We never should've brought it outside 

Naomi: Hey I didn't know the moon would DO that to it!! 

Dib: It's okay (charging after dog/cockroach, and still panting) We just have to catch it before it eats somebody 

The cockroach/dog stops, turns to look at the moon, and lets out a blood-curdling howl. Dib and Naomi both freeze in their tracks as the thing slowly turns to look at them with horrible staring yellow/brown eyes. Without thinking the two humans inch towards each other in fear. 

Back in Lynne's room 

Lynne: (running back in) They're going too fast. Wait with me, Timmy. (she plops down in bed and closes her eyes.) 

And at Zim's house 

Zim: And so, my Tallest, the mission goes well. I have found a rebellious human intent on the destruction of her own kind, and a Thurken beast is here who also hates humans. 

Red: (playing with the straw of his drink, pretending it's a lazer and zapping Purple with it) What's Thurk? 

Purple: (exasperated) Planet Thurk? Assigned to Invader Dem, remember? 

Red: Yes! Oh yes you've found a ghostling, Zim, wonderful. (turns the lazer/straw to the screen) 

Zim: No, one of their flying animals. At least, this one resembles them. But it's intelligent. 

Red: I see! Ah yes, I see! (staring out the window) 

Purple: Well thank you for that enlightening report, Zim but we have curly fries to eat. Goodbye! 

Zim: Wait! I must report to you my progress on my information gathering mission. I have discovered a network of the human machines on which all the information of 

Sudden Loud Voice: ZIM! 

A dragon fades into view behind Zim. 

Lynne: Zim, there's an emergency. Dib's experiment escaped 

Zim: (jumps) YOU! Don't sneak up on me like that! Filthy, useless, Thurken! 

Purple: THAT doesn't look like a Thurken beast. 

Lynne: Yeah, what DOES a Thurken beast look like anyway? He keeps calling me that, and I'm afraid it might be a derogatory description 

Red: Here! I've got a picture (he reaches over and touches a few things on the console, a picture appears on the screen) 

Lynne: (staring at the picture) Okay Zim, you are going to die 

Zim: (his antennae flatten) But they're such mighty, strong beasts! I admire them greatly. 

Lynne: Liar. Anyway, I don't have time to destroy you. Get your ship thing, and follow me. 

Zim: I'm not going to fly my ship in full view of 

Lynne: It's night, Zim! You're just another U.F.O.! Now come on! 

Red and Purple, on the screen, blink slowly. As Zim hops on his lift and zooms to the Voot Cruiser, they quietly end the transmission. 

Meanwhile 

Naomi: I think this is it (her face is pale) 

Dib: We're we're going to 

Naomi: Oh _no_ I didn't even bring my camera 

The dog/cockroach is advancing on them, raspy snarls in its throat. 

Dib: I think maybe we'd better 

Naomi: RUN!! (they take off screaming, and the dog/cockroach leaps into the chase, making hissing and barking noises) 

They careen through the trees, through a stream, across a field, across a road, and across an intersection. A small grey car swerves to avoid them, running another, already drunkenly swerving car, into the ditch. 

Nny (in the grey car): (snickering) Well wasn't that a lucky turn of events 

Lynne (up in the air): There they are! 

Zim (in his Voot): HA! Pathetic humans! Destroyed by their own measly creations!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! 

Lynne: (appearing full face in the cockpit of Zim's Voot cruiser) ZIM! Just immobilize the moon-crazy bug!! 

Zim: (flinching away from her) Right after it eats Dib 

Lynne: NOW. 

Johnny, meanwhile, has gotten out of the car, ignoring the drunk teens now splattered in the ditch, and watches the lights in the sky. U.F.O.s? 

Instead of complying with the dragon's request, Zim lands his Voot and gets out, takes a deep breath, and smiles evilly watching the cockroach thing after Dib and Naomi. 

Lynne: Zim 

Zim: Patience, filthy Thurken! I am assessing the situation. 

Lynne: Like hell you are oh look! It thinks you look tasty. 

Zim: What?? (he turns to see the cockroach making a circle back from the tree which Dib and Naomi have swung up into) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! 

Dib (in the tree): All right! Now maybe we'll get to see what some of his _personal_ defenses look like! 

Naomi: If he stops panicking and screaming and running around waving his arms like a lunatic 

Dib: Yeah 

Johnny, seeing the U.F.O.s become an alien ship and a hazy dragon, just stands there, staring Lynne, while laughing at Zim, soon spots Nny and goes over to him. 

Lynne: Nny! Where'd you come from? 

Nny: . 

Lynne: It's me, Lynne I'm projecting. This is really me. I'm not really human. I'm just born as one for now. 

Nny: (says nothing again for a moment, then turns his attention to Zim, who is running in circles and screaming) Your little green friend seems to be in trouble. What planet are you two from? (eyeing her warily) 

Lynne: I'm from Earth I don't know where he's from. He hasn't deigned to tell me, though I think he told my friend Jaime. And I don't care if he's in trouble he's not my friend. 

Nny: Yes. 

Lynne: I was trying to get him to use his ship's weapons to fend off that thing but I guess he's not smart enough for that. 

Nny: (too stunned to really say much of anything) 

Lynne: Have you seen aliens before? 

Nny: No but I knew they were there. Always knew. (looks more closely at Lynne) Never seen a _dragon_ before, either 

Lynne: Hey, at least you know what one is that little green monster calls me Thurk-beast' or something else insulting. 

Back over across the field, Zim has finally gotten himself together, sprouted his mech-legs from his back pod, and is easily outdistancing the cockroach/dog. He plays with it for a while, always keeping out of its range. 

Nny: Those are nice implements. Are they sharp? 

Lynne: I don't know.. 

Nny: (sitting on the hood of his car now, watching the show) It's so surreal, this far away except for the fact that you can hear him yelling his arrogant little lungs out. 

Lynne: Yeah. (floating? next to Nny) 

Zim: Stupid human virus-infected insect! You are no match for the might of ZIM! Watch as your hideous slobbery fangs and sicky yellow eyes melt under the deadly power of my MIIIIIIND!!! 

Lynne: (snickers) He's trying to use a variation on that trick I taught him. He's not good enough at it yet though, I don't think nope oooh, ouch definitely not ah ha oh look, he's up again. That's good. 

Nny: (really not hearing anything she says) Strange little aliens 

Naomi (in the tree): He doesn't look like he's doing so well maybe we should help him. 

Dib: Help that alien? Are you crazy? He wants to destroy mankind!! 

Naomi: Well, he _is_ helping us right now 

Dib: He was here to gloat at us! I saw him, before that cockroach rushed him! 

Naomi: You were watching _him_? I was watching the bug, and the tree that I was trying to get my butt into so said bug didn't _eat me alive_! 

Zim, meanwhile, is having a hard time with the cockroach/dog. It's catching up to him, now that he was off-balance from trying to hit it with a psychic attack (and failing), and has one of his mech-legs in a death grip in its mandibles/jaws. 

Zim: Release ZIM! Foul earth-stink!! (he struggles with it, but it hangs on) 

Lynne: Maybe I _should_ help him.. I know Dib's not going to 

Nny: He sounds to me like he deserves his fate. 

Lynne: Nobody does not really well some people do. (looks over at the smushed teens in the ditch) Listen, I'm going to run out here okay? I want to be here for this. Will you wait for me if I'm not here in time? 

Nny: Yes. Yes, I will. 

Lynne: Okay, thank you.. (she fades out of sight)

Zim scores a shallow stab in the armored back of the cockroach. 

Dib: ZIM! Don't hurt him! I worked long and hard on that cockroach! (he clambers down from the tree) 

Naomi: (stares after Dib for a moment, then follows him) Dib, we shouldn't let it _kill_ him 

Dib: Yes we should! But I won't let him kill _it_! 

The two of them run over. Dib leaps for Zim, and Naomi leaps for the cockroach, trying to divert its attention off of Zim's leg. Dib latches onto another leg, and grabs for Zim. 

Dib: You won't hurt my experiment!! 

Zim: FILTHY HUMAN!! Get away!! (one of the mech-leg collapses in the cockroach's jaws and Zim falls to the ground, the cockroach lunges for him, but Naomi holds fast to one of its legs) 

Dib: (leaping to pin Zim) Leave it alone! 

Zim: (shoving Dib away) Out of my way, stinking human!

Zime gets up in time to see the cockroach twirling with gaping jaws/mandibles to Naomi, who stumbles. She can't get out of the way in time.

Zim: Now, the price you pay for messing with ZIM!! (raising a mechleg, he spears the insect neatly through the back, and it falls heavily short of Naomi, on her legs, snarling, hissing, and snapping. She backs out of the way quickly)

Zim: ANOTHER VICTORY!!! (he raises a fist into the air as the cockroach slowly fades, twitches, and dies) 

Dib: (crawling over to Naomi) Are you okay?? 

Naomi: Yeah 

Dib: That alien just saved your life. (he is gazing in shock at Zim; his brain can't handle it) 

Naomi: Yeah, so? (she sits up, looks at Zim, who looks suddenly surprised and embarrassed) 

Zim: (giving the dead cockroach a kick) Well he deserved it! (he marches back to his Voot cruiser in his high-stepping way) 

Nny, sitting on the hood of his car, watches silently as Zim gets into his ship and flies away. Dib and Naomi get up, talk quietly for a moment, then head off down the road, leaving the cockroach where it is. Nny just keeps sitting there, silently. A few minutes later..

Lynne: (coming up) I guess I missed the action, huh?

Nny: (turning to look at her) Yes.

Lynne: Oh well thanks for waiting for me.

Nny: It's no problem.

Lynne: It's a nice night out though so I guess it was worth it to come out here. You can see all the stars.

Nny: Yes.

Lynne turns to look at him, and he looks back, and for a bare second, they see something kindred there. A soul living in isolation, among those that can't understand and can't see. But Nny turns away; she doesn't know the depth of it, having to _be_ human as well as be among them. And Lynne turns away too; he's more alone and in more pain then she is, she couldn't _really_ empathize with him..

Nny: Need a ride home?

Lynne: If it's okay yes.

The next day, everything is pretty much back to normal. It's Friday, so everyone gets to stay up late since there's no skool for the weekend. Yay!

Zim is busy tinkering with his BLENDER elite, ignoring GIR, who is singing some nonsense across the room.

Then, the doorbell rings, and with a sigh of annoyance Zim dons his disguise and heads upstairs to answer it. As he opens the door, he blinks in surprise. Standing there are Lynne, Jaime, and Julie carrying bags that smell disturbingly of tacos.

Zim: What are _you_ freaks doing here? 

Lynne: Didn't you e-mail me telling us to bring over tacos? And a rubber pig? (Jaime holds up the pig) 

Zim: No, I (he turns around) GIR!!!

Jaime: Hey, we brought MEN IN BLACK! (holds up a video)

Zim: (turns back to them, looking confused)

Lynne: Oh, you'll love it, Zimmy (sniggers evilly)

THE END!

I hope you enjoyed... I certainly had fun with it :) Please review, if you have made it this far, through close to 15,000 words! :)


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